The Isolation Nobody Talks About

<p>Besties woah. Might want to sit down for this one. This is bigger than I expected. There is a brand new study from March 2026, published in the official journal of The Menopause Society.</p> <p>So I was googling. Isolating. Pulling back and basically not wanting to leave the house. Not returning texts. Canceling plans. Sitting next to people who love you and feeling completely alone. I did this when a few days ago my husband asked me "where all my friends were."</p> <p>I don't think he meant anything by it but it got me thinking. Was I OK? I kept saying I liked being home and obviously working on KRUUSH but after that comment I got thinking. WAS I OK?</p> <p>Nobody puts this on the symptom list. Nobody calls it perimenopause. Most women call it depression, burnout, or just who they are now. But maybe they could be wrong on all three.</p> <p>Research shows that social withdrawal during menopause is driven by both physical and emotional factors. Vasomotor symptoms like hot flashes (AKA random sweating) can lead to embarrassment in social situations, while hormonal changes may increase feelings of isolation even when surrounded by others. Mine is a severe case of no time for bullshit. I have always been the pliable friend. Not sure if my friends would agree but I can assure you now I am not. If it doesn't feel good I don't want it. RIP to the version of Amber that sucked things up.</p> <p>Back to the study. So you can be in a room full of people who love you and feel completely alone because your hormones are making it so. That is a documented physiological response. I know this sounds dismal but I do believe in all of this we grow. Now the relationships that are curated matter. They have purpose and that is a win.</p> <p>Here is the research that just dropped. A study published March 2026 in <em>Menopause</em>, the official journal of The Menopause Society, tracked more than 900 perimenopausal women and found that both loneliness and social isolation were independently associated with cognitive decline. Moderate to severe loneliness combined with social isolation increased a woman's risk of cognitive decline by eightfold.</p> <p><strong>Eightfold. Not slightly worse. Eight times worse.</strong> This is why the data matters. I feel like until we understand what a disservice we have had collectively we won't all band together and change that. This is why you may feel like KRUUSH is being force fed to you but girl we can fix this faster than they can.</p> <p>Postmenopausal women who experience isolation also face a 29% higher risk of cardiovascular disease (<a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2788582" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Golaszewski et al., JAMA Network Open, 2022</a>), while being more vulnerable to depression and anxiety. And here is the part that nobody is talking about loudly enough. The isolation doesn't just happen because life gets hard, though life does get hard. It happens because declining estrogen disrupts serotonin production. Because hormonal surges intensify anxiety. Because brain fog makes conversations feel exhausting and hot flashes can make you terrified of being somewhere you can't escape quickly. Don't start me about the random rage and the tears that can make you feel exhausted and confused on who you have become. You don't feel like yourself and you don't know how to explain that to people who knew your old self. So you stay home. You cancel. You go quiet. Cause it is a lot.</p> <p>Women who participated in qualitative research on perimenopause mental health described feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and like they had nothing left to give. Many struggled to get support and were misdiagnosed. They described feeling isolated, confused, and unsure of what was happening to them. This makes me sad.</p> <p><strong>The withdrawal isn't weakness. It is a symptom.</strong> Name it as one. Then make baby steps to feel better whatever that may look like.</p> <p>The reason it matters beyond the pain of feeling alone: socializing is literally a cognitive workout. It has so many benefits. When you stop engaging, your brain loses stimulation at the exact moment it most needs it. The isolation and the brain fog feed each other. The loneliness and the cognitive decline accelerate each other. You pull back because your brain feels foggy. Your brain gets foggier because you pulled back. This is a documented cycle with a documented way out and it starts with someone telling you this is happening and why. These are not my feelings. These are facts.</p> <p>This is exactly why we built the <a href="/community">KRUUSH community</a>. A place where you don't have to explain yourself. Where "I canceled everything this week" is met with "same" instead of judgment. Where showing up means logging in from your couch in sweats at 11pm because that is when you finally had the energy. Your squad gets it because they are living it too. If you are pulling back from everyone else, at least don't pull back from us. We are right here.</p> <p>I want to close this with something personal. I made KRUUSH with no idea what it was or how it was going to be an actual business. I built it because I was isolating and the only time I felt alive was when I was talking to women about how they were doing. It made me feel connected and it made me think a lot about how women, the ones who birth, bleed, show up for everyone and everything, were suffering silently and not getting the answers or clarity they deserve. Then to add insult to injury the outlook is dismal. Like we are washed up, done, fini....</p> <p>Besties. We are not. We are evolving and unapologetic. This is a new chapter of knowing who the fuck you are and embracing the new. We just need the tools.</p> <p>Sending massive hugs and a reminder that it only took 903 women to figure this out. We can do better for us.</p> <p>Hugs and health,<br/>Amber</p> <hr/> <p class="text-sm" style="opacity: 0.6;"><strong>Sources:</strong><br/> Lin et al. "Independent and joint associations of loneliness and social isolation with subjective cognitive decline in perimenopausal women." <em>Menopause</em>, The Menopause Society, March 10, 2026. 903 perimenopausal women. Shandong University. PubMed ID: 41805136.<br/> Golaszewski et al. "Evaluation of Social Isolation, Loneliness, and Cardiovascular Disease Among Older Women in the US." <em>JAMA Network Open</em>, February 2022.</p>